


Lay your love on me

by Pseudonymfox



Series: Negan Oneshots and Drabbles [1]
Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Angst, Blood and Violence, F/M, Fluff, Language, Minor Violence, Unresolved Emotional Tension, negan bein negan
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-03
Updated: 2018-11-03
Packaged: 2019-07-24 18:46:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16181003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pseudonymfox/pseuds/Pseudonymfox
Summary: Negan is your one and only love but you are scared that you’ll lose him…





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I watched Mamma Mia a lot over the past days and somehow this idea came out of two songs “Lay your love on me” and “One of us” which is gonna be the Sequel to that. Also this is my first Negan one shot so please leave a comment. Always wanted to write for him but never really started ^^
> 
> Didn't really get much attention on Tumblr but I tried my best. Hope I'll post more with him <3

 

Negan is never gonna be that simple guy who finds his soulmate, his one and only, the girl he is supposed to fall in love with. Instead he got a bunch of women in black dresses, all locked in a room for him to pick one out and jump on his dick from here and then even after Lucille he couldn’t really say that he is the guy for true love. After all here he is, longing after a girl who is the complete opposite from all of his wives, any women in the sanctuary and he even would say she means more to him than Lucille once did.

The moment he saw (Y/N) for the first time he knew that she is going to be the death for him. She looked so in peace as she picked flowers up at the fences, outside the sanctuary. He thought at first how she can be so gentle and lived through all of this shit that happened to make it til here but he got convinced otherwise as David stepped towards her with a smug smirk across his face. He reached his hand towards her ass but she was too quick. She took his arm and spinned him around and held him firmly. He couldn’t hear her but she whispered something in ear and shoved him away, letting him fall on the ground. After that she just picked the flowers up and left like nothing happened.

Quickly he build the courage up to talk to her and asked her of course to be one of his wives, she just slapped him across his face and left. She denied again and again but he wasn’t going to have it and finally after a long night and a few drinks they came closer. She wasn’t his wife but something like a mistress for him. No one knew about it but anyone who had eyes could see their longing glances across the room or little winks and smirks towards each other. He spend less nights with his wives and more time instead with (Y/N). 

 

_I wasn’t jealous before we met_

_Now every men I see is a potential threat_

_And I’m possessive, it isn’t nice_

_You’ve heard me saying that smoking was my only vice_

_But now it isn’t true_

_Now everything is new_

_And all I’ve learned has overturned_

_I beg of you.  
_

It is already late as Negan waited for (Y/N). Normally she would wait for him in his room but never once until now he had to wait for her so he decided to get up again and look after her, slightly worried that something happened to her. The Saviors and his wives of course noticed when he doesn’t show up in week or comes to late to meetings with messy hair and hickeys across his neck.

As he got into the hallway he saw you leaning against a wall with a man besides you with your hand on his shoulder. He wouldn’t say that he is jealous but he didn’t like to share at all or just see you next to these guys.

“Hey!!” he shouted towards you and the guy he recognize as Robin who often worked at the market. Both of you quickly took steps back.

“Don’t you have to be somewhere Robin?"he snapped at him shoving him away from you.

"Y-Yes sir” Robin choked out still staring between him and (Y/N) like he is waiting for another sign.

“What the fuck are you waiting for? GO!” he said one last time and rolled his eyes as Robin quickly made his way into another direction.

“Really Negan? Was that necessary?” you began and crossed your arms over your chest.

Robin was just a good friend of yours who needed an advice. Nothing more but Negan already saw a threat in him.

“Why are you even hanging around with this fucking asshole? You know I don’t like to share what is mine” he took you chin with his hand held you closer to him but you just shoved him away again, not having his attitude at this moment.

“I’m not yours and he is just a friend. Which you knew if you would listen to me for a damn minute.”

“Oh please! I could his eyes all over your body” Negan scoffed and you are sure that others would hear your argument but you didn’t really care at this moment because it wouldn’t matter if he saw you talking with a girl or a men. He would get extremely jealous if you would be near any other person. But he thinks that it ok for you that he has a room full of his wives.

“I don’t think so..” you just simply replied because you know something that he doesn’t but he had to overreact again.

“How are you so sure about it? I could hear his thoughts about shoving his-”

“He is not interested in women! Robin just needed advice..” You cut him off and snapped at him. He looked slightly shocked and didn’t replied at first so you just decides to head back to your room but his arm held you already back.

“Sorry…I didn’t know” he mumbled and looked into your eyes, holding you still tightly in his arms.

“Fuck you Negan! You always overreact when I am around my friends and I am not your wife! I can still do whatever I want!” You said and shoved his hands away that held your face in between for a few moments.

“No I mean it. Fuck you Negan!” you replied again and you wanted to give in at the way he looks at you and knew that you couldn’t hold it back any longer but at least you tried a little longer.

“And I fucking said when and where?” he inched closer to you. So close that you could feel his hot breath against your skin. You couldn’t hold back anymore so leaned in and just as you lips touched lightly, he pulled away and chuckled loudly as you pouted and tried pulling him back. Negan just crouched down and threw you over his shoulder. You giggled as he slapped you on your ass and began to walk back to his room where you gonna have a lot of fun.

 

_Don’t go wasting your emotions_

_Lay all your love on me_

_It was like shooting a sitting duck_

_A little small talk, a smile and baby I was stuck_

_I still don’t know what you’ve done with me_

_A grown-up woman should never fall so easily_

_I feel a kind of fear_

_When I don’t have you near_

_Unsatisfied, I skip my pride_

_I beg you dear_

As Negan first approached you it was like a shock since he never talked to you or even noticed you. You thought that you did something wrong or broke one of his precious rules but it wasn’t anything like that he asked you to marry him and out of a instinct you slapped him. For a second you thought that you would never see the daylight again afterwards he probably just got more turned on.

He tried again and again to seduce you with gifts and extra points but you denied everytime. As you first heard of his wives you promised yourself that you never ever going to be one if these bitches. After the fist few weeks of him showing up at your work, giving you days off or just getting on your nerves and following you around the sanctuary. With that followed small talk, long conversations and..you well you found yourself falling for him. Actually both of you did.

Then after a date he set up you spend the night together and then another and another.

Suddenly you felt excited when he got back from meetings, a run or long work days. He was your best friend and lover. You had no idea what he felt for you or he still had sex with his wives but you had a feeling that this was something special. 

 

_Don’t go wasting your emotion_

_Lay all your love on me_

_Don’t go sharing your devotion_

_Lay all your love on me_

Another night were you laid just as the past few days in his bed, with your head on his shoulder and your naked bodys after a steamy night as close as possible. You loved it. No disturbings, no rushing or people asking for his appearance. Just the two of you and the rest of the world is shut down for a few intimate moments. 

Never once in your life you had a relationship with someone like Negan, not even with older men but now everything is just different. Every other boyfriend or lover you had felt almost not real or childish. You also often thought about how he felt, you don’t think that he will ever drop his wives for you no matter how much you wanted him for yourself. Also about the war with Rick and his group. You really believed that he can win the war but still there is pretty big chance that he didn’t. He could die and you would stand there alone. 

“What is going through your pretty little head?“ he asked as you seemed like you got lost in thoughts again. You could feel his heartbeat, that helped to concentrate on the moment instead of the war or losing him. _  
_

“Nothing..“ you lied. 

“Stop lying to me. I know you for to fucking long to know when you are lying.“ he said calmly. The only light came from the moon through the windows as you looked around Negan’s bedroom.

“How?” you replied wanting to know why he always knew what you were thinking about. He just sighed and began to draw patterns on your shoulder and down your arm before he continued.

“Because everytime you lie or trying to say something you get awfully silent, can’t keep eye contact and look around the room like your lost in your world“ he explained to you. 

“I just..-I guess I am scared“ you stuttered out. You didn’t want to look so vulnerable in front of him like this but the thoughts just kept running around your thoughts, not leaving you alone and keeping you awake at night. 

“-scared of losing you.“ you added, tears welling up in your eyes but you closed your eyes and held a little tighter onto him. 

“You shouldn’t be. I already told you that I don’t die that easily.“ he chuckled lightly, trying to soothe you. 

“I know but you already disappeared as Rick showed up here or after you are supposed to drive to hilltop..and I just can’t help it. I don’t want to lose you.“ you managed to say before your voice started to stutter, your emotions overcoming you. 

“I promise you that I come back” he told you firmly and kissed your temple. 

It did help but you still had a weird feeling about everything and your blood would just run cold as you thought about it again.

  _  
_

_I’ve had a few little love affairs_

_They didn’t last very long and they’ve been pretty scarce_

_I used to think that was sensible_

_It makes the truth even more incomprehensible_

_‘Cause everything is new_

_And everything_

_And all I’ve learned has overturned_

_What can I do_

 

You thought over the past weeks about these three little words a lot. Moments came where you wanted to say it came often but you never did because you are scared. Scared of losing him, of him not feeling the same or just that he’ll break this off. How could you even think that he’ll say it back. Negan is after all not that type of guy who confesses his love towards someone.

You had your fights and the wives are still there too. You didn’t even know if he spends still time with them but you are constantly around him so you didn’t really thought that. If you would bring that subject up you would be pretty sure that he gets mad even if you had to be the one who should be mad. That was another sign for you that he didn’t feel the same for you. 

The day went by and this time you came in a little later. All you needed was a shower and sleep. You expected him to be already asleep or not even there yet. He would often just sleep for a few hours before something happened or he was requested somewhere. So of course you are shocked as you came into his room to find the room lighten up with candles and Negan standing at the vinyl recorder. Just as he was planning this, the romantic and slow music started playing and he turned around to you with a grin on his face. 

“What is going on?“ you stepped forward with a tired smiled as he got closer too and put his hands on your waist already starting sway slightly. 

“Just thought that we needed more time for us since I am a little occupied with everything“ he smirked and looked deeply into your eyes. 

“I should maybe take a shower. I look like shit“ you chuckled and sighed. 

“You are fucking perfect just like this.“ he leaned forward and kissed you softly on your lips. It is so different to what he usually likes. It was short but still very soft and sweet instead of rough and all about teeth and tongue. You laid your hands on his chest and the two of you began to just sway around the room, staring into each other eyes. The music stopped and he pecked your lips another time.

“I love you” you brought out without even thinking about it. You mentally cursed yourself and thought that everything you build up is now gone to shit. 

“What?“ he stepped away from you and cocked an eyebrow at you. His face is gone white and you never saw this shocked before. Your stomach turned and just hoped for the best. You opened your mouth to say something but nothing came out. You just couldn’t think of anything to say. You didn’t want to apologize for what you felt for him and neither wanted you to take it back. 

“I think you should go now“ he mumbled after an uncomfortable long silence. You eyes shot wide open and looked confused to him. Your biggest nightmare just became reality. 

“Go right fucking now!“ he said now more loudly. He strolled over to you and pushed you towards the door. You began to panick and didn’t even know how to react on what just happened. 

“Negan I-.“

“No! Just go (Y/N)….please“ he cut you off and you waited a second longer. Your tears already starting to flow down your flushed cheeks. You just turned around the hallway and began to walk back to your room which you haven’t really visited over the last time. 

Everything you were scared off now just became reality. Tomorrow was the big day and you didn’t know it yet but tomorrow you would lose him. You would lose the war. 

 

_Don’t go wasting your emotion_

_Lay all your love on me_

_Don’t go sharing your devotion_

_Lay all your love on me_


	2. Changes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time passed by since you confessed your love to Negan and the war took place. Things changed, you met new people and you try to find a way to Negan...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I found some motivation for that and decided to turn a few things around. It’ll be probably a series. oops :D

[Ursprünglich gepostet von neganuniverse](http://tmblr.co/Zxl2Db2a1oGZQ)

It has been about one year and a few months since you stood alongside other saviors with a gun pointed at you and arms raised in surrender. As Rick shot his hand hand up with a glass shard that slit Negan’s throat open letting him fall to the ground. You watched the scene in front of you in horror just standing still on your point, not being able to move or rather not being allowed to while holding with everything you had the scream back that seemed to escape you mouth, silently the tears rolled down your cheeks wiping them just as fast away.

“Save him” you remembered Rick saying letting the hope inside you grow again. Even when he didn’t love you back you couldn’t just stop loving him as painful as it was. Negan was being held in the infirmary for the time he needed to heal just enough before they threw him the cell. Nobody knew exactly what was happening between you and him maybe besides a few saviors and wives that told around some lies. Rick decided to put you and a group of Saviors into a camp to repair a bridge. You felt thankful for that, most of them treated you and the saviors like shit but you understood why and even the Saviors treated them just like they did. 

There was just this ugly tension between the groups even tho Rick tried his best to bring everyone together, in your opinion it’s wasn’t possible anymore. The things that happened and people who got killed can’t be brought back. There was no chance that everyone just forgive each other. It was just out of control and it got even worse as Justin, one of the Savior got into fights multiple times, mostly with Daryl. 

After he suddenly disappeared with a few others and later found dead it got too much for everyone. It could have ended in a fight but things got cleared in last seconds and the Saviors decided to get back to the sanctuary just like the people from the Kingdom did. Now you stood in between the groups and didn’t know where to, you didn’t felt really welcome by any of the groups anymore. 

The bridge was mostly done and the thoughts of just leaving crossed your mind already few times but there was just this one thing that held you back. A part of you wanted to see him just this one last time, you weren’t sure why because you knew he didn’t love you back and as much as you wished it you couldn't just stop loving him.

Standing in your tent slowly packing your stuff you haven’t even noticed that Rick entered.

“(Y/N)? You’re leaving too?” he asked snapping you out of you buzzing thoughts.

“hm?..Oh well the bridge is mostly done and everyone seemed to be going back to their homes and I..” you told him but stopped and shrugged.

“If you want I maybe have a job for you back in Alexandria? We need here and there still a helping hand” He suggested you. There are reasons to say no but one big reason to say yes was currently in a cell there so you smiled and agreed with him.

“Yes of course! If you need me”

“Good. You can take a horse right back and ask Michonne where she needs you the most” Rick told you and guided you to your horse. You were told not to name the animals but you really did liked your pitch black mare, so you named her Athena. Hopping on her back you turned around to Rick again.

“Thanks (Y/N)” he said which you returned with a smile before Athena took off riding towards Alexandria.

Faster as you could think of you found yourself on a familiar street not far away from your destination. Stopping suddenly as you heard shots sounded through the sky. Thinking for a moment to turn around you decided not too. It was too far away,it got slowly darker and who knows what it was. With a slightly bad feeling you took the last miles a bit slower as Athena seemed to be tired as well.

You anxiety seemed to mess with you as you walked alongside the men who opened the gate for you to Michonne who approached you with Judith in her arms.

“(Y/N) what can I do for you?” Michonne asked as she thanked men who took Anthena with him to take care of her.

“Rick told me that you needed some help here” you told her what he said and secretly hoped she didn’t put you on guard duty right away.

“Always! If you want you can have the house down the street. It’s not really done yet but you can live in it for now.” Michonne pointed at the house that half of it was in a rusty black caused by the flames.

“Tomorrow I would like to put you onto the fields. We got some problems with ravens and the plants are dying. If that’s alright with you?” she asked and walked you to the front porch of the house.

“More than alright” you laughed and remembered as you helped the farmers back in the sanctuary.

“Take some rest. I’ll send Nora to you tomorrow morning she’ll tell you what to do and show you around” she smiled another time before turning around and leaving with Judith in her hand.

“Thank you!” you called after her and she just waved before continuing to walk.

You saw Alexandria maybe one time before Negan decided to throw some grenades in here. You felt so sorry and somehow guilty for everyone who lived here and everything that had happened and mostly also for yourself for falling for the leader that kinda caused everything of that.

Back in your room you decided to end this weird and exhausting day with a hopefully peaceful sleep.

The next day you already showered, ate something and dressed yourself for the day as you heard what probably only Nora could be. Grabbing your jacket you opened the door being greeted by a brightly smiling young women.

“Good Morning. Are you (Y/N)?” she asked you and you just nodded, still in a sleepy trance.

“So I am Nora and if you’re ready I would love to show you around first of all before I show you your workplace”

The both of you headed outside and began you small trip, there wasn’t much to show but she told you so much about the history of the place, the people, how she got here and what the plans are for the future.

“Oh shoot I totally forgot to bring the food into the cell” she face palmed herself and jogged with you to the kitchen where the already prepared food stood. This became a way to much reality as she began to search for the keys while you held the single sandwich and a glass of water in your hands. You weren’t ready to see him yet, or where you? You became truly a headache from all of this. There was no way out of this as she took the plate again and walked with you inside and through another door again before you saw. It was dark and cold there which didn’t help at all. Negan was laying on the bed and as he heard the door opening and closing again he sat up and looked at Nora first before he noticed you while you tried desperately your very best to stay in the shadows behind Nora who placed it within his reach.  As you catched his glance once you saw him in some kind of prison suit, a long salty beard and short hair. For a moment you  just thought that couldn’t be him but you would remember those eyes everywhere and as his voice sounded through the air it was more than clear that it was really Negan

“What do we got today..Oh the same shitty food as yesterday what a fucking great surprise” he scoffed out and looked back up capturing your glance and letting you blood run cold. Nora turned around and took you with her towards the door. One last time you saw him his eyes at you, widening as he seemed to realise who you are.

Fuck you just thought as you heard him call after you “Wait!” but Nora didn’t stop to walk out of the door and call one last time back to him.

“You know the rules” she simply said and started to lock the door again.

“Rule number one. Don’t talk to him as much he tries to‘ she chuckled and you joined not knowing what to say at all after the shock you still stuck in. Back at the fields she instructed you what you had to.

Just clearing the plants from the dead one, watering and and planting new one. It might have been simple but the fields weren’t small.

Back home again and covered in dirt you just took a shower and literally fell into the mattress. Sadly the sleep didn’t seem to stay. You always stayed in a state between being awake and half asleep. Frustrated you threw the covers off of you and stood up deciding to start the day now, it wasn’t that dark anyways.

An good hour later you sat at your kitchen counter with hot coffee in your hand and stared at the other side of the room of the connected living room where the flames destroyed the walls and part of the floor. Maybe you could repair that too, can’t be that hard you thought. A knock on your door let you flinch up for a second and Nora stood just as yesterday taking you with her to the fields.

As you work your ass of the next hours with your knees slumped down in the dirt you noticed a few things. Nora came multiple times out of Negan’s cell room, every time with a plate full of food then Michonne tried it with just as much luck. Why wasn’t he eating you asked yourself and stopped with your work for Lunchtime.

You grabbed yourself a sandwich and a cup of tea while you sat down on a bench outside not wanting to get weird looks between the others who ate all together. A young man came walking towards you sitting besides you.

“Hey” you mumbled to him hoping that he had good intentions.

“(Y/N) right? Why are you sitting here all alone?”

“Uhmm sorry what was your name?” you asked the man with slightly longer and ginger colored hair you sadly didn’t recognize anywhere.

“Oh I am Sam” he shook his handy with you, it felt weird to see someone now who is nice to you. Just some Saviors like D.J or Arat where really nice to you, you sometimes even missed them.

“Wait Sam? Are you the guard?” you ask feeling now that it made click after you knew you heard that name before.

“Yes I am. Sadly not the best job here” Sam laughed deeply. He seemed honest and nice but you could be never sure enough.

“I heard that Ne-” you tried to ask but he scooted over and cut you off with a hand over your mouth. Confused you grabbed his hand and twisted slightly.

“Don’t touch me” you said really quiet but with firm eyes. You didn’t wanted to hurt him so you let go again.

“Wow you’re really strong..” he said in totally amazement before he continued. “- anyways we don’t say his name”

Shaking your head now it was your turn to laugh.

“This is not Voldemort..he is just Negan”

“In which relationship did you stood with him (Y/N)?” Sam asked raising his eyebrows and you gulped harshly.

“Well..I...Doesn’t matter. Whatsoever I wanted to ask why he is not eating?” you asked him interested.

“I dunno..he is always saying that he wants to talk to her, that he wants to see her but I don’t even know about who he is talking about” he shrugged poking around on the last bits of his food.

“Maybe he’s talking ‘bout his damn bat” Sam scoffed standing up with the now empty plate in his hands.

“Well maybe we can eat something later again? I have to go look now if he ate something” he asked with an obvious blush on his cheeks.

“I guess yes” you chuckled and made your way also back to the fields. You really didn’t wanted to use Sam to get to Negan or find out more about him but he was also your only chance. Besides that was he even really who he seemed to be or are you just paranoid enough to think that about everyone. With your thoughts stuck on so many and different things you didn’t notice how the time passed by like nothing and sun already stood deep setting the sky in a pink beauty while you still kneeled on the field, great that everyone just got home without asking you or letting you know. On your way home you walked by the house Negan was locked inside, Michonne and Sam just walked out of the door, they were in some kind of discussion.

“(Y/N)! Can you wait a second?” Sam called after you. Slightly cursing under your breath you hoped that you could just walked by and go home for today but fine you didn’t wanted to seem rude or weirder than you already are. You walked over to them and saw Michonne just silently waving at you as she she walked away.

“Hey Sam what’s wrong?” you asked interested why Michonne looked so stressed.

“He still doesn’t want to eat..Michonne meat he is in some kind of hunger strike” he said rubbing the back of his neck. Then you catched an idea, might be an stupid one.

“Can I go in?” you asked Sam with the biggest smile you had but his eyes just widened and he looked angry.

“Are you out of your mind? That’s too dangerous and we would be in big trouble if someone would see this” he shouted at first but then whispered the rest, not wanting to catch even more attention who know who is watching.

“You don’t need to open the cell Sam just let me talk to him..alone” you whispered back hoping he would just do it.

“(Y/N) I’ll tell you this one last time. No!” he replied firmly.   
Fine if he doesn’t want it that way then you should have it your own. It was such a stupid and big risk but what could you lose anyway, all you knew was that first of all he had to eat and you needed to know one or two things.

“Ok..How about you get us something to eat?” you said flirtatious smiling at him with big eyes.

“Oh..yeah..I-I’ll go get something to eat. Just stay here” he chuckled nervously before he run off.

Sighing deeply you waited til he was out of sight before you decided to go in. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback appreciated!
> 
> xoxo Sophie :)

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback appreciated :)
> 
> xoxo Sophie


End file.
